i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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