I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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