I think scott just propositioned me for sex
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
