New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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