Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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