just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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