She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
