I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
