:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
