Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
