So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
