the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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