i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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