do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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