i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
