"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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