if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
