I accidentally had phone sex last night
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
