New invention idea: vibrating tampons
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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