i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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