I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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