i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I haven't been this sober since birth.
im holly from the hills drunk
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
