Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
