kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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