Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
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