I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
