I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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