Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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