Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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