I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
