He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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