Can Purell be used as lube?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
