He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
