our cab driver is having phone sex.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
