she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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