i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
