Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
