I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
