I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
