shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
