therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Randomize
