matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
