Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Say something about gay babies.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
