found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
