who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
