So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
