I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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