it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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