I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
