He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
